You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
whose parrot is this?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
