So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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