I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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