Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am one with the molecules
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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