Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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