wat bout pragnant strippers??
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize