Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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