I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
