i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
