I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She's JV to your varsity
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
