the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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