Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
