Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can I color on your dick again?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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