a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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