There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
