Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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