Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
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no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
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