what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
