In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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