Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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