I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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