you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
