He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize