Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
