Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize