he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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