You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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