I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
