You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
