nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
