spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
