Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
