I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
