i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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