I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
