It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
