marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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