At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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