too bad you live with your parents still
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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