Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
