google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
