I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
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So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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