Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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