i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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