Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
