go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
