She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
