yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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