One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
