If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize