she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
