Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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