my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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