She's JV to your varsity
just tell him i said nine months
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
