do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize