Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
