Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
