I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
