The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
