Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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