Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
