In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
