Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
