The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
