You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
