well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
