smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
MIDGETS
????
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
