Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
