just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
